Why I Travel Alone

I admit it, I’m a misanthrope. My social skills are next to none, and I constantly worry whether I’m making a fool of myself in front of people I talk to. The anxiety is something I’m working on, something I had to confront on my recent trip to Oslo if I wanted to go anywhere or buy anything. That’s one of the reasons why I travel alone. If I’m with someone, my parents or a friend, then I automatically take a back seat on the decision making. I just follow them around and slowly sink into my own mind, freed from having to interact with the outside world. Alone, I’m out of my comfort zone. I have to order teas in cafes, ask for museum tickets, buy food in supermarkets. I have to pay attention to where I’m going; I’m the designated navigator. I can’t be introverted all the time as I must make my own way.

To be honest, my social awkwardness is low on the list of why I travel alone. But I have found that I get disproportionately angry with anyone I’m travelling with, friend or family. I don’t know why exactly, maybe the stress of being in a completely unfamiliar environment puts me on edge, stretches my nerves to breaking point. Then I feel guilty for being a grumpy old woman for the entire trip; it’s never my companion’s fault, and spending all day every day with me in an irate and quiet mood must have ruined the trips for all of them. I still get stressed and angry on my own sometimes, but freaking out or panicking isn’t an option as neither is helpful when I’m lost or in trouble.

I think group holidays and solo holidays serve two different purposes. In a group holiday, you bring your world with you. It brings your friendship group closer together, because there’s no getting away from people you’re travelling with. You’re supposed to have fun together, mess around, have new experiences, find a new appreciation for your loved ones. A solo holiday is more about the country you travel to. It’s easier to immerse yourself in a different culture as you’re exposed to it, you have no choice unless you want to spend your holiday locked up in your hotel room not talking to anyone.

I enjoy both types of holiday. I like travelling with my parents, uncool as that may be, because I like who they are and spending that much time with them isn’t a chore. But when I experience another country, I am buried in its differences, its eccentricities and oddities, I’m elated and utterly free. I don’t have to worry about anyone or anything, I’m not being annoying or grumpy and I’m not ruining anyone else’s holiday. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I think my family appreciated the break from me randomly laughing at YouTube videos when they’re trying to watch TV.